I remember being a junior in high school and sitting at a doctor’s office crying. I’m not talking about just a few tears here and there. I mean the hard tears. The “do I still have makeup on?” tears.
The doctor told me I had depression. And to be honest, I didn’t think it would ever be something I would have an issue with. Especially as a teenager.
If you know me, you know I love being fun and silly. If I can make you smile, it brightens my day. I try really hard to live a life full of joy that I can share with anyone I come in contact with. Yet, some days aren’t that easy.
There was a time when I thought I was over this depression. I HATED feeling that way. And with the help of an amazing counselor and my stellar support system, I was back to who they knew to be the “real me”.
HOWEVER, this was not the end. My depression didn’t magically disappear overnight. In fact, every year I seem to battle it. And every time it seems to dig up emotions I thought I was over. Grief. Anxiety. Loneliness. Feeling so much less than everyone else.
It’s back. I don’t even want to admit it because so many people don’t understand how hard it is to battle depression. They don’t understand why it breaks you down emotionally or why you have a hard time wanting to do the things that used to get you excited. They don’t understand the tight hold your thoughts and feelings can have on you.
I’m not asking you to understand everything that goes into depression. There’s a lot and sometimes it can be overwhelming to take in. I’m also not here to tell you how it is hurting me. That is a battle God and I are fighting right now and I am not ready to be that raw and vulnerable.
What I am asking from you is patience. Those who are dealing with things such as depression are working really hard to overcome it.
Be kind to everyone. You don’t know who is struggling and with what. Lend a hand in building them up when they are feeling knocked down.
Lastly, be encouraging. I find that I rely on my support system when I am in this battle. If I am not constantly encouraged, I get harder on myself and it prolongs how I feel.
There is so much more to depression than the assumption that you just feel sad over a period of time. It’s okay to not understand, but it makes a world of difference when you can show compassion towards it.
As I wrap up this post, I want you to keep in mind that our society has become really good at making it look like we have our lives together. Reality check— that flawless selfie you just saw of the person who’s living their “best life” used a filter to get rid of the dark circles under their eyes. People are hurting.
Ansley B.
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